We must become the change we desire.
Psychologist George W. Crane became known for a case he handled with a female client. The woman came to see Dr. Crane and told him she hated her husband and wanted to divorce him. She told the psychologist how selfish her husband was, and said she wanted to hurt him as badly as possible. “Well, in that case,” replied Dr. Crane, “I’d advise you to start showering him with compliments. Make him his favorite meals and serve him in any way you can. Do all you can to communicate you love him, and when you’ve become indispensable to him, then present the divorce papers to him. This is the best way to hurt him deeply.”
Dr. Crane sent her off and asked her to call in a few months to let him know when she was ready to begin the divorce proceedings. Interestingly, she never called. When Dr. Crane finally spoke to her and asked if she was ready for the divorce-she emphatically resisted. “Divorce him?” she replied. “I changed my mind. When I began acting like I loved him, I discovered I really did.”
Aristotle wrote, “Men acquire a certain quality by constantly acting a certain way. You become just by performing just actions. You become temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.”